The Pros and Cons of Open Adoptions

Should You Allow Your Child Contact With Their Birth Parents?

The state of allowing an adopted child to see and have contact with their birth parents is also called an open adoption. Some believe that the only ethical way of raising an adopted child is to allow contact with their birth parents, while others believe it is for the benefit of the child to keep their birth parents away. Either way, there are benefits and drawbacks to each decision.

Benefits of Allowing an Open Adoption

Offers a progressive, healthy relationship between birth parent and child. Sometimes birth parents have to give up a child because of factors they cannot control. They may be not be fully capable of caring for the child, but they know what is best for the child. Allowing an open adoption allows these parents to have a loving relationship with their child, yet keeping the child safe and protected.
More stability. A child growing up without knowledge of their birth parent may have trouble understand what exactly an adoption is, and what that means for them. If a child is introduced to their birth parent, they may develop a greater understanding of the difference between their birth parent and adopted parent. They would be able to ask questions and settle any confusion with their adoption.
Mental stability for both parent and child. Children developing without knowing their birth parent may feel as if they do not have a definitive role model in their life, even if that is not the case. A parent that has given up their child for adoption may feel guilty and have the desire to care for the child, even though they cannot. With an open adoption, the child may feel welcome in both the birth and adoptive parents’ hearts, and respond better in all areas of their life. The parents may not feel the grief of abandoning a child when they are an active member in their life.
Easy access to information. When a child’s birth parent is either not known or not involved, it can be difficult to predict both future medical problems and possible mental problems. When a parent is involved, medical history and other important documents are easily accessible. Decisions for the health and wellbeing of the child may be shared by the birth and adoptive parents, which makes for a happy partnership. The child is able to ask questions freely and identify with both parents. Doctors are able to examine birth mother and child and that can lead to an understanding of medical history.

Drawbacks of Open Adoption

Contact with abusive parents. Unfortunately, sometimes children are taken out of their homes because of unstable or unsafe living conditions. When contact with these parents is permitted, sometimes children develop confusion and distrust in both the birth parents and the adoptive parents. In this case, it is usually considered better for a child to not have contact to maintain steady mental health and avoid physical harm.
Identity confusion. In some rare cases, children have developed an idea that they belong to neither parent, and feel as if they are in some sort of limbo when an open adoption is in place. They may confuse their family history between each parent, or have issues with personal identity development due to having too many parental figures.

Every child is different, and individual needs must be considered when deciding whether or not an open adoption is appropriate. Most of the time, a child benefits from knowing and interacting with their birth parents because of reasons listed above. Talk with your child if they are of age, and if they express interest, perhaps try to set up a meeting between them and their birth parents (if possible). From there, continue as you and your child feel most comfortable.

Sources

1. http://americanpregnancy.org/adoption/openadoptiondisadvantages.htm

2. http://www.adoptionhelp.org/open-adoption/benefits

3. http://www.cradle.org/benefits-open-adoption

4. http://www.livestrong.com/article/57124-disadvantages-open-adoption/