The Best Way to Tell Your Child They Are Adopted

For many adopted children, it is best to let them know when they are young. Children benefit from knowing as soon as possible in order to develop a healthy parent-child relationship. The question is: “How do I tell my child that they are adopted if they don’t realize it themselves?” It is important to tell your child as soon as possible, to help them develop comfort in their living conditions.

1. Read Stories. There are many childrens’ books designed to help children understand the concept of adoption. The earlier they are introduced to these concepts through pictures or short stories, the more open they will be. As your child ages, they will probably have more questions to ask regarding the concepts they learned from these books. As that develops, it is imperative that you have a heart-to-heart discussion with your child.
2. Answer all Questions. The child may take certain cues that signify that they are adopted. These things include: having different behaviors than their parents, different appearances, and cues they pick up from their peers and their parents. Because of this, the child may have questions pertaining to their origin.One of the most common questions is, “Did I grow in your tummy?” To this question and many others, sit down your child and explain the process of adoption.
3. Do not wait for them to discover from a different source. Other family members may try to help the child by telling them, neighbors or their peers may also attempt to tell your child they are adopted. It is very important for the child to learn this information from their parent, as it helps the child develop trust. If he or she discovers from a different source, they may feel betrayed or lied to.

You may find that your child just already knows. It is a very natural instinct to feel a connection with a birth parent. The child may not feel this, whether or not they consciously acknowledge it. You should never lie or avoid the subject with your child, and be welcoming towards their curiosity. Eventually, the child will become comfortable enough to not need to ask many questions, and will accept the concepts of adoption with ease.

Sources

http://www.parenting.com/article/how-to-tell-your-child-shes-adopted?page=0,1

http://www.adoptingfamilyresources.com/adopting/adopting_explaining_adoption.htm

http://www.gov.mb.ca/fs/childfam/adoption_faq.html